Are the phrases ‘I’m not in the mood tonight’ and ‘I’m far too tired’ becoming somewhat repetitive? While everyone is different and there’s no ‘normal’ level of sex drive, low libido can leave you feeling, well… low. If you feel like you’re in the midst of a no-sex déjà vu, it might be helpful to identify what’s triggering this so you can find a solution. Here are 10 common sex saboteurs.
Here are some common sex saboteurs:
Sex saboteur 1: Life
Amidst the chaos of modern life, the household chores or having an extra hour in bed often takes precedence over sexy time between the sheets. Try arranging one night per week where you and your partner pledge to cast your worries aside and spend some quality time together. Make this a regular occurrence and it won’t be long until your dry spot is a distant memory.
Sex saboteur 2: Hormone-based contraceptives
Most contraceptive pills inhibit the production of androgens, which directly impact the level of pleasure we experience during intercourse. It’s a bit of a cruel irony really isn’t it? You go on the pill as a form of contraception and then suddenly you don’t feel like sex anyway – great! If you’re going through a sexual dry spot and you feel that the contraceptive pill is the culprit, speak to your doctor who may be able to suggest an alternative.
Sex drive saboteur 3: Overactive bladder
An overactive bladder isn’t the best thing to be thinking about during sex, and it can really put you off doing it in the first place. During an orgasm, there is a momentary blip in communication between the brain and the bladder, making it common for the bladder to release urine. There are medicines available that may be able to help with this problem so it’s worth consulting your doctor about this. Paying a visit to the toilet before sex can also be effective.
Sex drive saboteur 4: Lack of sleep
Sleep is a common sex drive saboteur for both genders. Researchers from the University of Chicago found that men who get less than five hours sleep per night have lower levels of testosterone, which leads to a lack of desire between the sheets. Sleep specialists also state that women with depleted energy due to a lack of sleep often report a low libido. So ladies and gents, if your sex life is declining it might be time to start stocking up on sleep.
Sex drive saboteur 5: Body image
Small boobs, a hairy back, lack of muscles … whatever it is you’re conscious of, body image issues make for a sure-fire short circuit in terms of your sex drive. If you’re getting naked with the lights off, or not getting naked at all, it’s time to stop filling your mind with negative thoughts about your body and start focussing on what you love about yourself. Every time you have a negative thought about your body, make sure you back it up with a positive one.
Sex drive buster 6: Menopause
Ladies, mood swings, vaginal dryness, hot flushes and depression don’t exactly set the mood for a night of hot sex. Add to that your decline in oestrogen levels that prevent blood flow around the pelvis area and it’s probably feeling pretty dry ‘down there’, meaning that sex has become painful. Wow – it’s no surprise you’re not feeling up to it. While lubricants may provide short term relief, you could speak to your doctor about alternative solutions such as hormone replacement therapy if this is causing you trouble.
Sex drive buster 7: Alcohol
Alcohol can really take the wind out of your sails for obvious reasons. Alcohol breath? Drooling? Can’t even stand up straight? No thanks! Alcohol in men can really affect his ability to get an erection, too. Gents, if you’re planning on getting it on but you can’t get it up recently, cut alcohol out of your diet and you’re likely to see an improvement.
Sex drive buster 8: Children
Once you’ve had children, it may seem as though the romance and intimacy in your relationship has been swapped for stress and fatigue. Caring for babies and/or children makes you exhausted, which is a recipe for a no-sex night. Try and set aside one night a week to stop worrying about the chores once the children have gone to bed, and spend time as a couple instead. Watch a movie or cook a meal and you’re sure to get your va-va-voom back after a week or two!
Sex drive buster 9: Disinterest in your partner
Most couples experience temporary disinterest in their partner at some point during their relationship. If you have been experiencing this for a long time and you no longer feel like getting intimate, there’s a good chance that there are unresolved issues that need to be addressed. Sit down and talk with your partner about what you are happy with in your relationship and what could be improved.
Sex drive buster 10: Performance anxiety
Both men and woman may suffer from performance anxiety. When men are anxious about sex, it can cause erectile dysfunction which, in turn, can make women feel inadequate. Speak to your partner about what he/she likes you to do to them and try it out. Once you realise how much they love it, you’re sure to overcome your dry spell.
Also read: 7 surprising sex facts
Content source: RealBuzz